補習-College Bound（雙語）

編者按：上大學之前，不管是你，還是你父母都有許多的問題，正經的，怪異的，在我們的腦袋里面飛來飛去 My son is a senior in high school, which means that pretty soon he, like millions of other seniors, will have to make a crucial decision, the consequences of which will remain with him for the rest of his life: Who will be his prom date? 我的兒子在念高三，也就是說，很快他就會像無數其他高三學生一樣要作出關鍵的抉擇，其后果將伴隨他一生：誰將成為他在畢業舞會上的舞伴？ Also, at some point he'll probably select a college. In fact, we've already gone on several college visits, which are helpful in choosing a college because you can get answers to important academic questions such as: 另外，從某方面說，他也許要決定挑一間大學。事實上，我們已經拜訪過幾家大學，這對挑選學校是很有幫助的，因為你可以獲得一些重要學術問題的解答，比如： *Is there parking? *有沒有車位？ *Are all the students required to get body piercings? *學生在身體上是否被要求穿環？ *Is there a bank near the college that you can rob to pay the tuition? *學校附近有沒有銀行可供打劫以交納學費？ Most college visits include an orientation session, wherein you sit in a lecture room and a college official tells you impressive statistics about the college, including, almost always, how small the classes are. Class smallness is considered the ultimate measure of how good a college is. Havard, for example, has zero students per class: The professors just sit alone in their classrooms, filing their nails. 大多數學校拜訪中安排有介紹課，坐在課室里聽校方官員講述學校的各種數據，不時地會介紹班級有多小的規模。小班是鑒別學校好壞的辦法。譬如說，哈佛大學每個班有零名學生：教授只是孤零零地坐在教室里修指甲而已。 I noticed, in the orientation sessions, that many of the kids seem semi-bored, whereas the parents not only take notes, but also ask most of the questions, sometimes indicating that they've mapped out their children's entire academic careers all the way through death. There will be some girl who looks like she’s eleven years old, and her dad will raise his hand and say: “If my daughter declares a quadruple major in Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Large Scary Equations, and she graduates with honors and then earns doctorates in Medicine, Engineering, Law, Architecture, Dentistry and Taxidermy, and then she qualifies for a Merwanger Fellowship for Interminable Postdoctoral Studies, does the Nobel organization pay her expenses to Sweden to pick up her prize?” 我留意到在這些介紹課上，許多孩子臉露倦色，但是家長不僅做筆記，還提出許多問題，有時他們顯示出要給孩子整個求學生涯一路包辦到底的勁頭，至死方休。就好像有那么一個看起來十一歲的女孩，她的父親舉起手問：“如果我的女兒要修生物、化學、物理、特大方程式四門專業，然后她光榮畢業，又取得醫學、工程學、法律、建筑、口腔醫學和標本剝制術的博士學位，然后拿到麥萬格獎學金永久性地進修博士后課程，那么諾貝爾組織會不會付路費讓她到瑞典去領獎？” I was intimidated by these parents. I have frequently not given that much thought to my son's academic goals. I assumed he was going to college for the same reason I did, which is that at some point they stop letting you go to high school. I tried to think of questions to ask the college officials, but the only one I could think of was: How come these lecture-hall desks are never designed for us left-handed people? Although I didn't ask this, because it's probably considered insensitive on college campuses to say left-handed people. You probably have to say something like persons of handedness. 我給這些家長們嚇住了。坦白說，我沒怎么考慮過我兒子的學習目標。我想他上大學是出于和我從前同樣的理由，也就是從某方面說你不能再念高中了。我努力地思索著向校方官員問問題，可我唯一能想出來的是：“怎么教室里的課桌從來都不為我們這些左撇子設計？”盡管如此我還是沒問出來，因為說“左撇子”也許會被校方認為是敏感話題。也許你得說什么“偏手人士。” After the orientation session, you go on a campus tour conducted by a student who is required to tell you the name of every single building on the campus, no matter how many there are. After the tour, the kids have interviews with college officials. One of the colleges my son visited was my alma mater, Haverford College. I was a little nervous about going back: I expected that, at any moment, the dean would tap me on the shoulder and say: Mr. Barry, we need to talk to you about your share of the Class of 1969's bill for the cost of scraping an estimated twenty-three thousand butter pats off the dining-hall ceiling. Fortunately, this did not happen. 開過了介紹課，你接著要參觀校園，領隊的學生被指定向你介紹校園每一座建筑的名字，不管有多少座。參觀完畢后，孩子們與學校官員會面。我兒子參觀過的一個學院是我的母校--海衛福特學院。舊地重游讓我有點緊張：我準備著院長隨時過來拍一下我的肩膀說：“巴利先生，我們需要談談，關于69級支付擦掉在飯堂天花板上2萬3千塊油漬所花費用的分擔問題。”幸好這并沒有發生。 I also vaguely recall attending classes and learning numerous English-major facts that still come in mighty handy whenever the topic of conversation turns -- as it so often does -- to Seventeenth-Century English metaphysical poetry. Yes, college was a valuable experience for me, and I’m sure it will also be one for my son, wherever he decides to go on prom night, I mean. 我還模糊記得上過的課和學過的無數英語專業的事實，無論何時，談話的話題遲早都要變為17世紀的抽象英語詩歌--總是如此。是的，大學時光是我的可貴經驗，我相信不論我兒子決定去哪里，他也會有同感。我是說在舞會那晚。 實習生 joyeh 編輯

Tag: 補習